do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
