If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
even my farts smell like vagina
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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