When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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