38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
two words...techno handjob
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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