id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She needs sedatives and a leash
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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