Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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