And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
