If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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