Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
