Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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