we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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