It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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