Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
