Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize