I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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