I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
