I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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