So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize