I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize