so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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