Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize