Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize