goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
