Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You need Xanax blowdarts
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
