im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize