u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
