pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
