i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
