when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think my moral compass just broke
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