on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
