And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
