when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
cat food counts as protein by the way
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
