their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
