There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
