so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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