the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize