with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
