Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
