I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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