Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize