you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
