your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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