Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm just crazy horny about you
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
