too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
