I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
