so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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