After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
