Yo dont text me then not text me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
