Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize