He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
