"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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