how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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