Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize