no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
