think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Everyone says I win the strip club
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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