I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
