I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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