who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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