I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
