either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
