I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
