Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
