I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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