omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
