I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize