He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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